In the old days some people used to give up something during Lent: for some it was a matter of renouncing their favorite food, for others it meant giving up a bad habit like smoking. Sometimes the sacrifice to be made was much more demanding. In any case, Lent was seen as the time of the year one can start over in their christian life. However, some people don’t need to give up anything intentionally, because life is taking something out of them anyway. And quite often that can be the most painful experience. The experience of loss is of course not limited to Lent. We might suffer from it any time of the year. But during this time our attention is especially drawn to the spiritual and emotional impact that such an event has on our life by the liturgy and the scripture readings of the Church.
This is not meant to make us feel depressed or hopeless, because the focus is not on the loss itself but on what comes next. However, following Christ is not a dinner party. We are really called to carry our own personal cross, meaning that we are not to run away and hide but face up and understand the things we are going through. We don’t know why bad things happen but sooner or later, we’ll all have to experience that sense of loss, despair, frustration or darkness that are part of our human existence. This is why I am sometimes amazed by some contemporary religious groups which offer an easy solution to all our problems when they say: “Believe this or do that and you’ll be happy!”. I wish it was that simple!
I do not see any shortcut or easy way to the life and joy that Jesus has promised us. In order to enjoy the fruits of his resurrection, we’ll need to be with him during his passion. We are not guaranteed in life: the same freedom that makes our human life possible also opens up the door to a wide range of other possibilities, sometimes utterly pleasant and sometimes not so. But there’s one thing we are guaranteed about: the love of God for us. Even though the Bible doesn’t provide us with a clear explanation on suffering – I am thinking of the book of Job, wonderful and dramatic story that represents our human conditions but doesn’t give us any ultimate answer – we are invited over and over again to put our trust in God, who knows what we need even before we ask Him and is the only one who can save us, sometimes even from ourselves. I believe that it is only when we embrace our human nature with all its shortcomings and weaknesses that we really understand how much we need the compassion of God and through that, we realize how much we need to be compassionate and forgiving towards others. And sometimes towards ourselves too.
So what to do in our darkest hour? First of all, we need to be careful that our own pain doesn’t shut us down from God and the rest of the world. God is always present in our life even when we feel His presence the least. And that’s the time when, more than ever, we needn’t turn away but keep listening to that sudden silence, looking at that thick darkness and offering all that we have and are to the only One who can heal us. Let us think of the gospels story of the sinner woman with the ointment, who, during an important dinner, washes Jesus ’ feet and anoints them with the perfumed oil. That is one story that is told in all four gospels. Mark’s gospel also tells us “And truly, I say to you, whenever the gospel is preached in the whole world, what she has done will be told in memory of her”(Mk 14.9). What is it that needs to be told throughout the world? It is this gesture of love that brings up new life. Other people present at that encounter didn’t understand why she used the most precious oil ( “Why was the ointment thus wasted?.” Mk 14.4), or even why Jesus didn’t turn her away (“If this man were a prophet, he would have know who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner.” Lk 7.39). Luke also tells us that she was washing Jesus’s feet with her tears (Lk 7.38). Far from being judgmental, Jesus once again defied the common thinking by forgiving her because “she loved much”(Lk 7.47)and thus deserving to be healed from her pain. Sometimes our pain can help us to wipe out our illusions and false perceptions while at the same time can enable us to reconnect to our own deepest and real self and by doing that it can open up our heart so that the love of God can fill it just like the fragrance of this precious oil filled the house (Jn 12.3).